The ‘Jester’ Gremlin:
T H E . O N E . W H O . S H A K E S . T H I N G S . U P
How do you tell a fool from a Jester? The distinction lies in awareness and the way to spot them is to watch their reaction. The Jester feeds off a reaction, they know they are playing a role and if you pay attention to the signs they’ll let you in on the joke. And the ignorant? Well, they don’t even know they’re playing a character.
I met my Jester in a coffee shop. He was loud, obnoxious, greedy and, above all else, unapologetic and for that I admired his spirit. He was playing the room, chatting up the Balinese waitress, giving unsolicited opinions to the student bagpackers and dropping his napkin intentionally just to spark conversation. Wide eyes, thick chest, dad belly, designer frames, I could tell this Joker was bored and was heading my way… to disturb my focus. (Haha how entitled of me to think now I look back on it.) Anyways. The story goes that I keep my head down, I’m sat at least 1m away, and I’m in the flow writing. Until sure enough he aimed for my attention.
“Are you writing a diary” the old man shouts at me from a metre away in broken English. In full ‘kill-the-people-pleaser and no-unsolicited-flirting-mode’ I shoot him a glance and say ‘yes’ and carry on writing. He stoped speaking, and said, “I can’t die anyway, even if that look could kill” and then channeled his play into the others around me and I smiled. In the way he respected my space, I saw that this man knows exactly what he is doing and was intentionally messing with people to shake up their day. I know a few of these personalities and I love them for their unabashed gumption and I will always listen when they have something truthful to say.
Z E . L E S S O N S
And so, he let me have my space and I let him play with the other people in the shop, but when the time came to get schooled I sat my but down and I listened.
‘If I looked like you I would tell the truth’
Here me out here because I was shocked and embarrassed too, I’d never heard that before, back home in the UK people don’t tell it like it is. For so much of my life I’ve been so ashamed or shy of my looks and here was this strange old white guy telling me to speaak the truth and use my appearance. I said - ‘but you’re old and white, everyone who looks like you can say the truth’ and he said, ‘no I’m done no one will listen to me now. Now you must.’ And I figured, yeah I guess you’re right. I must own the otherness that I’ve felt so ashamed about. Cliche but true.
‘You need to bring something new to the world no one has ever seen’
Again I laughed and I was speechless because this is basically the hardest thing someone can ask of you. But then he broke it down. ‘Do your thing, write your thing, go inside and write only in the way you can.’ Thats why I speak so candidly on the Gremlins, because I’m practicing being honest and teaching myself that I’ve nothing to hide. In me doing this you get to know the real me and just maybe share the real you
‘There is no such thing as try’
After he told me to ‘go deep inside’ and I said ‘yes, I’ll try’ the Joker was not happy. HE GOT MAD. “NO YOU DONT GET IT. I NEED TO BE HARSH WITH YOU NOW!” And the Joker switched up and got real angry with me. He pulled out a napkin and said to me “try and take it”. I laughed and took it. he said no, “try, don’t take”. So I dangled my hand limply. “Try. You didn’t even try” he said. The third time I held the napkin without pulling it and our hands were resting there for a few seconds. “You see”, he said. “You can’t try, you can only take it or leave it. That is what I am here to tell you. Either go deep inside or don’t. NO TRY.”
AND that was that.
I kissed him on the side of his cheek and we parted for ever.
I know that the advice he offered is priceless and his discernment to be harsh with me was necessary. What a gift.
OK that’s it for this week.
Till next time you beautiful beast.
K X
